Today is my first mother’s day holding my baby in my arms. Last year I was in my first trimester and hadn’t told anyone except our families that I was pregnant. It was like my little secret when they passed out Mother’s Day gifts during church service. I’ve always appreciated my mom, but now that I’m a mother myself, I have gained a greater appreciation and understanding of a mother’s love.
The other night as I held Jaylen before putting him to bed, I was overwhelmed by my love for him. I would do anything for him. I don’t want to see him get hurt–physically or emotionally–ever (though realistically I know this won’t ever happen…especially the part about not wanting a boy to get physically hurt). I hope I die before him because I never want to lose him. I would give my life for him. As much as he may frustrate me sometimes with his constant night wakings and his sometimes endless need to be held, I love my son. It’s not because of anything he did; it’s just because he’s my son. How true that statement is about God’s love for us too. He loves us not because of anything we’ve done–just because we’re his children. (I heard that through a Visionary Parenting sermon we listened to last weekend).
So I realize how much it must hurt my parents when I’m hurting. They probably cheered when I learned how to roll over just like we did for Jaylen. And they probably welled up with pride (and a little sadness) when they saw me graduate from college and when I got a job. They sacrificed their time, energy, money, and desires for me just like I’m finding I need to do for my own child.
A mother’s job is never done. I see how much my mom still shows her love for me in the ways she shows her love for her grandson.
We’ve never had to buy diapers yet (and Jaylen will be 5 months old tomorrow) because my mom buys them in bulk from Sam’s Club before we run out. She provides babysitting and meals for us often. She encouraged me to stick through the tough parts of breastfeeding because she did it with my siblings and me and knows it’s worth the effort. She takes Chloe, our pug, out for us and even lets her stay at her house for days at a time. She prays for me and my family. Even though she doesn’t have to parent me anymore, my mom will always be my mother. Mom, I love you, and I’m continuing to learn from your example. Thank you for being my mom!
Now this Mother’s Day is extra special because I have my own little boy. He may not call me “mom” yet, but I love being his favorite
person (probably mostly because I’m his food source). I love seeing his eyes follow me as I walk across the room and to see his face light up with a smile when he sees me (even on FaceTime). I love snuggling with him and when he falls asleep on my shoulder. I love knowing that I’m the only one who can really soothe him when he’s super angry. I love seeing him master new skills and discover the world around him. It can be hard amid the sleepless nights, spit-up everywhere, messy house, and days where it seems like nothing really gets done, but I believe it will all be worth it. I pray that the result will be a respectful, godly young man who loves the Lord and lives to honor Him.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!
And this one is a plaque I saw and I just loved it.